Shifting from side to side, eye’s squinting and straining trying to get a better view of what could be. You’ve been thinking about it for a while and know the risks, the uncertainty that fuels the anxiety. You see the gap, but is it really worth the risk? Should you try to pull it off? Your heart says yes, but you’ve thought about it long enough now that the mind is starting to rationalise. What will everyone think if it doesn’t come off and you end up in a worse position? But, you’ll never know unless you try, right? You could play safe, take your medicine and hope for the best, or you could take the high-risk shot, trust your initial gut and ability and get back on course, run with the excitement and use that to keep driving you forward… You know what, let’s do it, let’s trust the heart.
I’m not talking about Golf here guys, well, metaphorically I am, but not yet. To cut to the chase, after 15 months I quit my full-time job and left without a new prospect to step into. Crazy? Yes. Necessary? Absolutely. Why might you ask? Well, I felt it was time, don’t get me wrong, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my time and experiences, meeting as always some fantastic people and vastly broadening my horizons and certainly knowledge in the financial services industry. But it didn’t scratch that itch. It’s something I don’t think I’ll fully appreciate until some time has passed, but it was just time. I stayed because it was comfortable, I took home a steady salary but it didn’t excite me like I thought it might. I sat nestled in the comfort of the monthly paycheck and a safety net and for some that might be great, but that just wasn’t me, whether I like it or not, I’m a bit of an adrenalin junkie.
As I navigate my way through the wonderful thing we call life, countless hours, days and months spent pondering and scratching my head trying to figure things out and what motivates me and gives me that hunger. I feel like might have finally narrowed that down as to what really drives me, what keeps me hungry and pushing my own boundaries. I need goals and incentives, bluntly put it has to be financial incentives for me. It sounds shallow I know, money doesn’t buy you happiness, but it certainly buys you security. I’ve learnt this hunger from sports and golf particularly, I love the chase, the thrill of everything being on the line and when you pull through and win, that euphoric feeling that accompanies it, it beams through your chest, knowing all the hard work and preparation that went into it was worthwhile, that’s what’s been instilled in me. I’m used to being outside, competing with the world and networking, creating relationships and opportunities. Sales sound fitting hey? But I love that. I’ve been here before in some form or another, but over the last 15 months, I’ve sat in limbo, out of consistent competitive golf, with many asking questions of what, where and why and I take full responsibility for that. But, the answers will always remain honest and true. It’s an expensive game, professional golf even more so than amateur golf and when you’re pumping golf balls into the fescue and oceans, it’s hard to keep justifying the minimum £ 750-week event with expenses so I needed to make some cash. That being said, my time away has helped turn a corner with many aspects of my game, I’ve been working with a new coach, a reformed approach and with great thanks to the Isle of Man culture, I’ve played a few too many of my weekend rounds well and truly watered with minimal fear helping me overcome many of those wild driver frustrations that have plagued me for the past decade.
So to answer some of those questions, I’m back competing early next year, heading down to South Africa again for qualifying school for the Sunshine Tour and then EuroPro shortly after. Thankfully to a course where I got through first stage 2 years ago, so familiarity will be quite nice and hopefully, I can better my prior performance. But in the meantime, it’s winter in England, so navigating the arctic conditions can be tricky and as much as I would love the luxury of some warm weather training as I’ve done in the past, that ship has since sailed, so it’s nose to the grindstone and feet in the mud. As always, it’s golf and sport, things change and ebbs and flows come, but I will say, it’s starting to feel a little like an improved version of 2009… so I might just have found that gap in the trees…
Until next time,